1. Decide it’s time to clean things up.
2. Realize you’ve got a lot of old papers with information that could be useful for ID theft; get a shredder.
(Step one and step two can be done weeks or months ahead of time.)
3. Shred and shred and shred and shred until the shredder bag is full.
4. Take the bag out of the shredder.
5. Spill a small mountain of paper shreds out of the bottom of the bag. Realize the bag is torn wide open.
What to do next:
1. Stare at the ripped bag in horror. State at the pile of shredded paper in more horror. Stare at the bag – you know, the torn one with equally large holes top and bottom; that bag – some more.
2. Take yourself off to look at email and funny cat pictures for half an hour, until you cheer up and your sinuses recover from the dust of sixty-year-old paper.
1. Come back and stuff the torn bag into another nice big bag.
2. Scoop handsfuls of shredded paper into the new bag until you can’t pick up any more.
3. Tie the bag shut and put it with the recycling.
4. Get a broom and a dust pan (because you already know a vacuum cleaner won’t do a good job picking up shredded paper; you’ve tried) and sweep up the rest of the mess.
5. Grumble as needed throughout this process.
(This is Day 4 of Five Photos, Five Stories – also, it’s part of the Hundred Day Cleanup.)