It’s time again – it’s past time – for Friday Fictioneers. So here’s my story, an entire day and almost a half ahead of this week’s deadline…
Frustration
I am a deep-sea diver.
I paw with clumsy hands through the debris of other lives, a vase, a rusty hammer, a discarded leg. Once somebody valued them all, or wanted to. Why? Who knows. Their meaning is lost now, whatever it was. But it seems important to study them one by one, lift them, consider them, watch the startled crabs scuttle away to a new hiding place, wait for the sand to settle.
There are no crabs. There is no sand. Only an empty cluttered house, and a figure searching for order. As hopeless as sweeping back the tide.
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This is beautiful writing! I love the comparison between deep sea diving and searching through a cluttered house after someone has left.
Oh, thank you! It’s certainly a job you can feel like you’re drowning in.
Nice and descriptive. I liked the ambience of your story
Thank you so much!
Dear Sharon,
I enjoyed the metaphors. I’ve felt like a deep sea diver when cleaning up after my sons. The word empty tells me there’s more to this story than just clutter.
Good to see you here.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Cleaning up after my sons tended to leave me feeling more like an angry dragon! But that’s another story.
I’m glad you liked the writing. Yes – this is about dealing with a house whose owner won’t be coming back.
Thank you, Rochelle.
Weird, this is a semi-unsettling piece full of emptiness and want, but the words flow so smoothly it’s almost soothing. Well done, Sharon
Just think of the words as tide currents drifting gently back and forth, so soothing you could drown in them…oh, right, that’s kind of unsettling too, isn’t it? This one’s less a story than a mood piece about dislocation and loss, and being the one left to cope. Well, maybe there is a story buried in there – it’s just not made explicit.
Thank you.
it’s a never ending battle trying to conquer the clutter plague. great story, Sharon.
Clutter is like ivy – it keeps growing back, no matter how often you prune it! (This seems to be my week for metaphors / similes – I’m sorry!) Glad you like it.
what an interesting piece and you married the two example together so well
Thank you, Jo!
Dear Sharon, I love the way you wrote the story. I have 4 sons and when they were living at home, the messes they could make – my house is still a mess not – so I guess it wasn’t just the boys fault! I hope you find some thing to fill the emptiness – you are a wonderful writer! Nan š
Four sons – oh my! There were days when two were a challenge. Thank you – I’m glad you like the story.
That emptiness is a little sad
Yes, very definitely.
Beautifully written – loved the ending paragraph.
Aw, thank you so much!
Sharon your creativity is wonderful every time!
Gilly, thank you so much!
Story that ends differently than it begins but with both parts tied together well. Rather sad but well written.
Thank you! It was meant to be sad – so I suppose I’ll call it a success.
Sharon, I’m glad you had time for a story this week. You conveyed the sadness and emptiness very well and your metaphor worked as well. Good job.
janet
Thank you, Janet – it’s been a struggle. I’m glad you think this one turned out well.