Friday Fictioneers: Invictus

Once more, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields has challenged us to produce a hundred-word story to dramatize the photo of the week – and this time, I have failed. Oh, I have a story to share with you, but it’s really hard to tell a quasi-Victorian little story and keep it down to a mere 100 words – at least, I couldn’t. Here you are, a tale of ambition and modern technology and, of course, true love –

sandra-crookInvictus

On a damp, chilly spring morning in the year 20–, a young gentleman set forth to participate in the Velocity Competition held in the town of C——-. His heart swelled with confidence, and indeed his current machine could scarcely be improved. The frame was of the finest cast iron, and two elegantly curved and conveniently positioned steering handles mounted before the operator’s seat served to guide it.

Once he won the race, the prize would fit him to request the hand of lovely Tiffany Maud. Settling himself astride the device, he placed his feet on the propulsionary pedals and thrust against them. And thrust again, and again. But alas, a week of rains had caused the vehicle’s iron frame to rust into an immovable, though sculptural, solid mass.

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28 responses to “Friday Fictioneers: Invictus

  1. Poor guy! Nicely done, Sharon.

    janet

  2. Bummer of a day, Sharon. Nicely written.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  3. Oh no and now he won’t win Tiffany, unless of course she is worth winning and takes him anyway!

    • Tiffany? Oh, she is a clear-eyed, pure-hearted maiden who would scorn the very thought of choosing wealth in preference to true love! In other words, of course he gets the girl! πŸ˜‰

  4. Poor guy, after all that work!

  5. I feel sorry for him. Great story

  6. I’m betting he got Tiffany even if his pedals couldn’t propulse. Any one who wins a race in that certainly would win Ms. Maud’s heart. πŸ˜‰

  7. Fits the photo prompt nicely.

  8. Poor guy. I’m afraid by the time he puts together another form of transportation, he will learn Miss Maudie has run off and eloped with another suitor in a carriage drawn by two white horses. Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my Dumb Redneck.

  9. Great story – love the name Tiffany Maud – shame he has missed his chance with her πŸ™‚

    • By the end of the story he thinks he has missed his chance, but I’m not so sure of that. After all, Miss Tiffany is the perfect kind-of-Victorian heroine, and as such she can’t help seeing the sterling worth of the hero, and waiting nobly for him πŸ˜‰ It may take him a while to realize that he still has a chance, but there’s a happy ending just waiting for the two of them!

      Oh, and thank you for liking her name! I was trying to inflict a modern first name and a nineteenth-century middle name on the poor girl.

  10. Oh no! He won’t get the girl after all. Bummer!

  11. Oh no, not rust. He was so close to getting the girl of his dreams. How can he be foiled by rust? A good story.

    • Glad you like it! And once you bring cast iron into the story, can rust be far behind?

      I think he’s got a chance at the girl anyway. If she’s the heroine in a Victorian-style story, her clear eyes and pure and noble heart can surely spot sterling worth at two hundred paces!

  12. Great tale, very well told.
    Loved it.

  13. How well you captured that moment where the rider thrusts downwards on the pedal – repeatedly. I watch my husband do this quite often with his two classic bikes. I sometimes wonder where the attraction is.

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