What I want is a Tardis.
Whaddaya mean, you never heard of a Tardis? Go watch some Doctor Who, okay? Oh, it’s not shown in your area? All right, quick explanation. Doctor Who is an insanely long-lived British television series focusing on the adventures of the Doctor, an impressively humanoid alien being – he looks just like a British actor! – who travels through time and space in an old-fashioned British police box called the Tardis. (When the series started, these police boxes were an ordinary part of London scenery, I’m told.)
Now, I don’t insist on a fancy working model of a Tardis. I’ll accept a second hand, slightly defective model that doesn’t travel anywhere. Because the Tardis has a special feature that makes it the finest spaceship design ever, even when out of warranty and nonmobile.
It’s bigger inside than outside.
You want one too now, don’t you? Just imagine having all the storage space you could ever want, and then taking a second look inside the coat closet and realizing that there’s a seventy-three bedroom mansion inside. And inside that, Yellowstone Park. And inside that, the Great Wall of China and all the pyramids of Egypt. And inside that…..
Oh, I want one. I’ll even let you use part of it – you can have the linen closet. And all the infinite space it contains. Okay?
BTW – If you read this far with no idea of what FTL means –
Congratulations, you are admirably persistent!
FTL is an abbreviation for “faster than light”, as in the ability of spaceships in science fiction stories – think Star Trek or Star Wars – to travel from one star to another in a matter of a few days or weeks instead of a few years or centuries.
Unfortunately, physicists agree that we can’t do that. 186,000 miles a second; it’s not just a good idea, it’s the law.
Come to think of it – if you can have infinite space parked next to your house, what do you need FTL for?
Oh yeah. Traveling faster than anything really can might come in handy when you’re trying to get out of the Tardis again, right?