What is Friday Fictioneers? Week after week, our fearless leader Rochelle Wisoff-Fields provides a photo as a starting point for us to write short-short pieces of fiction – the goal is to tell a complete story in 100 words. Interested? Try it yourself and post your version for us to share!
Looking at this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt, what caught my attention is that the couple aren’t looking at each other at all. Are they happy? We can’t tell from their expressions – they might be exhausted, grieving, angry and sullen, or deeply content to be together. But how to make all that into a 100 word story?
So I tried something completely different: my first ever sonnet. Please tell me what you think of it!
Stone
Gently a hand caresses curling hair,
Strokes face, tight-lipped like stone and turned away.
His eyes are closed; his heart insists she’s fair;
His ears will never hear what strangers say.
Held still beneath a hand that weighs like stone
Despairing eyes press tight to hold in tears.
She will not look. She’ll never be alone.
She wishes she dared speak, but no one hears.
What if these two could bring themselves to move,
To look around and speak and smile and part?
Set free to dance or quarrel, hate or love,
Unpetrified, to make a fresher start…
How will their story end? We’ll never see
Unless their stone can crack and set flesh free.
I think you did very well. Such an excellent fleshing of this prompt. WOnderful imagery and what a way to bring this stone to life.
Thank you! I couldn’t figure out a way to break them out of this static moment, so I just explored what I (thought I) saw.
A great write Sharon, the last two lines are perfection.
Thank you very much, Gilly.
Beautiful story told in rhyme–well done!
Thank you – glad you like it!
Oh I really enjoyed this. It’s rich with potential symbolism, Very clever and nicely done! And thank you very much for visiting me and commenting!
Thank you so much! I wanted to work in the emotional and physical stoniness. (And you’re welcome!)
This is terrific!
Thank you!
“Unpetrified, to make a fresher start…” –a favortie line.
I’m so glad you noticed that one! Thank you.
Very nice. Scorn not the sonnet!
Wouldn’t dream of it, Perry! Thank you.
i think its beautiful what you did with the prompt. “Unpetrified, to make a fresher start…” is such a great line.. and so is the last line
Thank you so much! I like those lines too – finding “unpetrified” took a while, and you don’t want to know what some of the awful early versions of that line were.
This is excellent – one of my favourites this week. I love a good sonnet
Glad you like it!
Dear Sharon,
Kudos to you for writng a sonnet. If i knew anything about the finer points of sonnet writing i would offer you more in the way of a comment. This will have to do. Better you than I.
Aloha,
Doug
There were moments when I was sure I couldn’t stick with the form all the way to the end – it took some tweaking
Thanks, Doug.
Dear Sharon,
It’s always good to experiment. Nice take on the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle! If we can’t experiment in a forum like this, when can we? Hmmm….postmodernism….epistolatory stories……..
Prithee, thou hast done an excellent job.
janet
I’faith, thou dost me more honor than becomes me!
That was really lovely. And I love the use of unpetrified – very clever – I wish I’d thought of that.
Thank you so much
I can’t believe this is your first sonnet. The images you describe are beautiful. Well done for getting inside the sculpture and looking out.
Well, I’ve read a lot of sonnets by other people, and I’ve played around with blank verse (besides, it’s easy when you’re writing English just to fall into a string of iambs). Thank you! I really couldn’t find a story to tell except for giving the two heads different points of view – a lot of other people were much more creative with this picture.
Great rhythm.
Good old iambic pentameter! Thanks.
Yeah, that too.
Skilful. Well done!
Thank you.
Wonderful, I love sonnets. Perfect poetry.
Thank you, Bjorn!
Wow, a sonnet. It’s always good to challenge ourselves and I think you made a good go of a new form here. I particularly love the last line. The tenses get a bit jumbled in the middle, but I never know with poetry whether that’s deliberate.
Thank you – I’m glad you like the ending!
But help me out a bit, if you don’t mind – I don’t see the jumbled tenses. Which lines bothered you?
That’s a wonderful sonnet. Great take on the prompt.
Thank you very much – glad you like it!
Nicely done, Bravo.
I am number 91 this week
Thanks! And I do intend to get to you – I’m working my way through the Fictioneers half a dozen at a time.
Thank you and no worries there are a lot to read this week =)
Very nice. Loved the last line.
Thank you! I’m glad you like that line – I think it’s the heart of the whole poem / story.
I absolutely love love love this. Very well done…
Awww. Thank you so much!
Interesting variation, neatly done.
Thanks, Elephant!
Beautifully written.
Thank you!